I cannot believe how big she is getting. She really is turning out to be a wonderful little girl despite everything going on with her parents.
I miss her so much, and these parties only bring that point home harder, but the day was about her and not me, so we enjoyed it to the max.
Here is proof...
All I do it drive!
Now that Steph has a job that is full time, and she can't pick and choose the hours, we have needed to find full time daycare for Jack. Everything was great because Steph's sister, Joann, wanted to quit her job and be at home with her 1 years old son, Austin. Killing two birds with one stone, we decided that she would be the best person for our daycare, and she agreed as she wouldn't lose as much of the income!
The only trouble with that is that she lives in St Helens which is 40 miles away! Now I know what you are thinking. Why drive out there and spend the money on gas etc, when you could spend the same money to just have him locally in town? Well the answer, unfortunately, is two-fold.
First is that Joann is family, and we know that when Jack is with him there will be absolutely zero chance of negligence and abuse. Not saying there would be at a daycare, but Joann has a ratio of two kids to her one adult. At a daycare the ratio is more like 7 to one, and that ain't good.
Second, Joann gives us the flexibility we need. A daycare is 7-6 every weekday. No compromise. You're late, you get charged extra. Joann is flexible enough for us to call last minute and say 'Hey, I am stuck in a meeting, and won't be there until 6:30pm" and she'll be cool.
The driving however is not good. I spend 90 mins in the car going to her house, and then 90 mins coming back to work every week day. Then I do the same in the evening. That is about 160 miles a day. It also means I have to be up and out of the house by 6:30 AM to make it to St Helens and back in time for work!
We have worked out something now where we will pay her extra to meet us in the mornings. That will take some toll off me, and some mileage off the poor little car!
All in all though, to have our little man looked after correctly, will be worth it.
((((RING))))
** Pick Up **
"Hello?"
"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
... Brief Pause
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
"Okay Daddy, just a minute"
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy"
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too.
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"
***Long Pause***
*** Even Longer Pause**
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool??... Is this 486-5731?"
Yes, it's true.
My keg was set up successfully by Kenny and myself this weekend.
I now have endless supplies of beer at my house (Oktoberfest to be precise) that I can pour anytime. Steph and I had a pint of beer each with dinner last night, and it felt kind of good...not to mention it saved money on what it would have cost at a restaurant. That is my logic anyway.
The only down side? Well, let's just say, today, at Day One, I weigh an even 200lbs.
Stay tuned.
Whoa. Where did that come from?
I love Judge Judy. You know, that crazy woman on the Court TV show. Well, I have watched her show and she can be pretty out there, and very outsopken, but if you actually watch her show you will see that she is a pretty good, no nonsense judge and is usually right no the money when it comes to calling a duck a duck.
So last night she was on Larry king live and the subject turned to fathers in the US and how they are treated. Here is an excerpt from the interview:
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SHEINDLIN ("Judge Judy"): I was a lawyer in the family court for ten years. I worked for the corporation counsel's office of the City of New York. I prosecuted juvenile delinquency cases. I did support and paternity. So, I was in the trenches and even then, Larry, it took me time.
I remember the first day that I took the bench. It was in the Bronx and the court officers, if was pretty formal back then, court officer said, you know, say "All rise" and I stood up because I was accustomed to they say "All rise." We stood and finally the court officer said "You can sit down now, judge. They're standing for you. You can sit down." So, even when you have experience you need time to get comfortable in your chair.
KING: I had a judge who became a federal judge told me once that the hardest thing to decide was custody cases. First he had no experience. Who has experience with custody cases? He's been happily married, has children. Who gets whom? Isn't that the hardest to give a child from one parent to another?
SHEINDLIN: Yes. Sometimes it's relatively easy because the choices are clear but I've always thought in this country we do a terrible disservice to fathers. You know there was a time many years ago when we had what we called the Tender Years Doctrine, which meant children of tender years, young children, always went to their mother.
And then all of the courts in this country said that's not fair. We have to be equal. So, on the books there is a law that says no one parent is favored over the other, now that's honored more in the breach than it is honored in actuality. And, I have been a proponent for many years of there being a presumption in this country for joint custody of children. That's where courts should start.
KING: That's where you begin?
SHEINDLIN: That's where you begin and if you're going to deviate from that, you have to demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that there is some valid reason why you're going to deviate from that because one parent is crazy, one parent has a drug problem, an alcohol problem, something's wrong.
But that should be the standard joint custody because children are entitled to be raised by two parents even if the parents don't get along anymore. I mean I think it's horrendous when one parent picks up and moves out of the state or moves 250 miles away and some judge in the family court, the domestic relations court usually if it's the mother who has moved away says, "Well, we'll have a hearing to determine whether it was the right thing."
No, no, no, no, no. You can't say to people who you've lulled into this sense of I'm equal, you're an equal father. You can take off paternity leave. We expect you to participate in the rearing of your children, to go to open school night, to be out there to play with them. Very often there are two people working in the household. They divide authority and you're equal except when there's a divorce.
And then, how often, Larry, I ask you the question, do you hear it quoted in the paper "He lost custody of his children"? You don't hear that. You hear "She lost custody. There must be something wrong with her."
Well I think that that has to change in this country because it was my experience in the family court, and I left the family court ten years ago, but even my experience on the television courtroom suggests to me that there are as wonderful a group of fathers out there as a group of mothers and it's about time that this country recognize that in not only the letter of the law but the spirit of the law as well.
I received this in an email from my buddy Neal today, and it made me think quite a bit.
Thought I would share it...
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long," answered the Mexican.
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs... I have a full life."
The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?" asked the Mexican.
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my Friend, That's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."
And the moral is: Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.
~Author Unknown~
To all of us who survived the
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We even rolled around in the back of station wagons.
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We did not have toilet seat protectors, if the seat was wet, then we wiped it off!
We had one TV, so we'd all watch the same show and it was fun.
POPCORN was made in a kettle on the stove, with oil and real butter.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Instant Messenger, Internet MySpace, or Internet chat rooms..........
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We climbed and fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!
