Resume Help?

A lot of people I know right now are looking for new jobs. A lot of them at my old company.
With that of course goes the pleas for help, and also any advice I can give. Well, I kind of fell into this job somehow. I applied the same old way, but figured I would give it a go. My resume was pretty good.

I read an article on MSN this morning about resumes, which was very good I thought. I have printed it below. I know, based on this list, I made several errors on my resume.
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25 Words That Can Hurt Your Résumé

By Laura Morsch, CareerBuilder.com

So, you're experienced? Before you advertise this in your résumé, be sure you can prove it.

Often, when job seekers try to sell themselves to potential employers, they load their résumés with vague claims that are transparent to hiring managers, according to Scott Bennett, author of "The Elements of Résumé Style" (AMACOM). By contrast, the most successful job seekers avoid these vague phrases on their résumés in favor of accomplishments.

Instead of making empty claims to demonstrate your work ethic, use brief, specific examples to demonstrate your skills. In other words, show, don't tell.

Bennett offers these examples:

Instead of... "Experience working in fast-paced environment"
Try... "Registered 120+ third-shift emergency patients per night"

Instead of... "Excellent written communication skills"
Try... "Wrote jargon-free User Guide for 11,000 users"

Instead of... "Team player with cross-functional awareness"
Try... "Collaborated with clients, A/R and Sales to increase speed of receivables and prevent interruption of service to clients."

Instead of... "Demonstrated success in analyzing client needs"
Try... "Created and implemented comprehensive needs assessment mechanism to help forecast demand for services and staffing."

The worst offenders
It's good to be hard-working and ambitious, right? The hiring manager won't be convinced if you can't provide solid examples to back up your claims. Bennett suggests being extra-careful before putting these nice-sounding but empty words in your résumé.


Aggressive

Ambitious

Competent

Creative

Detail-oriented

Determined

Efficient

Experienced

Flexible

Goal-oriented

Hard-working

Independent

Innovative

Knowledgeable

Logical

Motivated

Meticulous

People person

Professional

Reliable

Resourceful

Self-motivated

Successful

Team player

Well-organized

Ricky Gervais's Podcast

Absolutely brilliant podcast.
You can download them on itunes, or at Ricky Gervais' site.
For those of you who know me, and live near me, I have them all on CD now, and will happily burn you a copy. Without a doubt, some of the funniest radio out there.
Karl Pilkington is a wonder to behold.

United Won, So Did the Steelers!

A good day by all.
Tried to get a hold of Phil (brother, and huge Liverpool fan) to taunt him about the result, but he was 'not answering his phone' that night.
Magic!
Steelers are going to the Super Bowl where they will play the Seahawks.

Steelers Broncos United 'Pool

Huge day today on the sporting front.
Steelers vs. Broncos


I am going to one of my best friend's house to watch the Steeler game. I am a Steeler fan by default as he is, and my brother-in-law is a fan, too.
Manchester United vs. Liverpool
As for the other game...United vs. Liverpool, that is huge and sets up bragging rights for the year between my brother Phil and me. He is a huge Liverpool fan, and I am a huge United fan.



I will update the scores later today when the fun has finished. If you don't hear from me ever again, you will know that United lost.

Wrestling in the Living Room!

Steph took these photos the other day while Naomi, Jack and I were wrestling in the living room. Well, Naomi and I were wrestling and Jack got thrown into the mix.
The great part about this is you can really see how much Naomi's loves her little brother! Anyway, enjoy...
On a side note...DAMN, I make cute kids!

The Other Side of the Blair kidnap Plot

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Official Statement From Alleged Blair Kidnap Plotter

In any civil rights movement there will be good times and bad. In any large gathering of people there will be positive relationships and negative. Our equal child custody movement is no different. Most of us who report on these people we consider friends try to focus on the positive aspects, the positive advances we've made. I know I have avoided reporting things I felt would have a negative impact on our image. Those incidents do not reflect the love and devotion for their children of the parents we represent. They are a very small part of a large, and constantly growing, civil and human rights movement.

Matt O'Connor has stated he expelled 30 extremists last year. It just so happens that he said this was done at the same time that 30 members of Fathers4Justice walked out over poor management and started the Real F4J. Since that time both groups have gone on to do demonstrations in support of equal child custody.

There are Fathers4Justice organizations in several countries. A couple of them are O'Connor's sanctioned groups. The rest are run by individuals who refuse to be under his management. Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that for the last 3 years I have witnessed much frustration, disappointment and anger over O'Connor's management skills. [I should add there has always been great respect for his vision.]

I'm pretty sure we'll be hearing from more ex-members now that O'Connor has officially pulled the plug. For now I offer you the official statement by the alleged kidnap plotter:


I, Martin Matthews, would like to make a few things clear about the Sun newspaper article about kidnapping Leo Blair.

1. At no time did anyone ever suggest anything of the sort.

2. The following people were present, Artur – 07833930788 a 58-year-old father who is ‘T –Total,’ Dyian, A photography teacher who also did not drink as he later went to work – 0760483250, Gary – 077064619381, Jolly, Graham, Eddie, and two women.

3. After speaking with the Daily Mail, Sun and Daily Mirror, I feel it necessary to point the following:-

On the 18th of December 2005, I was feeling unwell and only had two glasses of Coke in the pub. I do not have the slightest idea from where these roomers of a kidnapping came from. I have noted in the tabloids that Jolly Sainsbury and Graham Manson are quoted as saying, that I may have suggested this as a joke. However, after speaking with Jolly and Graham it must be made clear that they have been miss-quoted.

4. I found yesterday exhausting, as I had made it clear to the tabloids exactly what the position was. However, I find that in today’s papers have reported that a conversation had taken place with fact or evidence to support this.

5. Late last night and early this morning I was approached by a 3rd party offering me £10,000 from the Sun Newspaper to lie and admit that the kidnapping plot was a Matt O’Conner idea and that he had asked me to look into it for the group.

6. I would like to thank Matt O’Conner for everything he has done for us and suggest that he should be included in the next honours list.

7. I did meet with Police Officers in Epsom on the 27th of December 2005. However, I find it particularly strange that if I did in fact suggest or take part in any kidnap plot on the 18th last, the police have not ever questioned me about this. In fact when I telephoned the Police Officer who spoke to me on the 27th last, about the Sun Newspaper article, and asked him directly who was involved he could not give me any information.

8. I am of the opinion that the entire saga is a complete fabrication by someone in power and ask most loudly that proof or evidence should be made available for public scrutiny.

9. As I am not a politician and have no experience with such matters all I can say is the only Party to benefit from this saga would be the Labour Party, by taking the heat of Ruth Kelly and off the front page of the newspapers.

Regards,
Martin Matthews – 07944642688

Great Joke

Man goes to see the Doctor...


"Doctor I think I have caught that bird flu that's going around"


"What makes you think that sir"


"Well I've started wearing make up, talking bollocks and can't park the car"

F4J Disbanded

Today is a sad day...seriously depressing for a group that I joined over two years ago, only to see it ruined by some extremist idiots.

This is from their website this morning

OFFICIAL STATEMENT - 18th January 2006
Fathers 4 Justice Suspended by Leader - Campaign to close if Necessary

F4J leader Matt O'Connor announced last night that he was suspending the operations of the group pending enquiries into allegations contained on the cover of this mornings Sun Newspaper that 'extremist sympathisers' associated with the group had planned to kidnap the Prime Minister's Son, Leo Blair.

F4J say they condemn any such action unreservedly and that the group is increasingly having it's name 'hijacked' by a growing number of militant extremists and that it would seriously consider the long term viability of the campaign.

The group say that ex members have reportedly been in contact with the Anti-Terrorist Unit SO13 from Scotland Yard who said that activists would be shot on sight if engaged in any protests in Westminster.

Said O'Connor 'After peacefully campaigning for three years to ensure children get to see their fathers, we condemn any individual who planned this appalling outrage which is anathema to our campaign.'

'I have three young boys myself and couldn't think of anything more traumatic for Mr Blair, his family and his son than what is reported in this morning's Sun newspaper, however we should approach the story with caution as it carries very little information in it.'

'If the Police have enough information they should not only release the names of those involved but prosecute them. This kind of coverage unravels all the good work we have done over the last three years, though I despair that the desperation of fathers only reflects the intransigence of the government to address the crisis in family law.'

'If our position is constantly undermined by extremists, we will shut down the Fathers 4 Justice campaign.'

'I will not let this organisation be hijacked by militants and I ask all fathers to respect our commitment to peaceful non violent direct action no matter how aggrieved they feel about their treatment at the family courts.'


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Political Science, Anyone?

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, You have two cows.
AMERICAN STYLE You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, You have two cows.
AMERICAN STYLE Under the new farm program the government pays you to
sh oot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down
the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four
cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You
spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

The Ddifference Between US & Europe

Hey, I love my birth place, but this is true !!

Da Bears!

This is my good friend Mike's haircut in honor of his beloved Chicago Bears who are playing in the playoffs this weekend.
They are one of the favorites for the Super Bowl this year, so my wife shaved their logo into his head last night.
I think she did an awesome job...you decide.

Is Smacking Your Kids Wrong?

Okay, so there is this big uproar (media based of course) about the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair's, admission that he smacked his kids!
Wow. big deal.
As no-one ever comments on anything I write here (I think I got one comment in October) I figured I would just let you know what I think.
GET OVER IT !
Smacking your kids is fine. Don't get me wrong there is definately a shady line between smacking kids and abuse, but I got a couple of smacks on the ass as a child, and I turned out normal. Well, reltively normal. (On a side note, I did think that putting cigarettes out in my eyes was a little harsh, Mum!)
It is those people who go ahead and continuously beat their kids for nothing that is wrong. I have a 5 year old, and a 6 month old, so they are relatively easy to discipline (I only have to look at Naomi wrong and she cries!) but I wouldn't hesitate to give them a little pop on the ass if they needed it.
Would love to hear your thoughts...

Potential Shirts For Jack

These made me laugh, so i thought I would share!

Damn, I Make Cute Kids!

The manners need work, but he is pretty cute!

Eric's Truck Got Pimped!

We pimped Eric's ride the other day!
Okay, so that might be an exaggeration, but it got a great canopy!
I was checking on craigslist for trucks, and happened to stumble across this canopy. It isn't the right color, but Eric is going to paint it, so it matches his truck.

Eric Hatton...you just got pimped!

It's Great To Be Carried Around!

More of the Boy...

I can't believe he is nearly six months old...

Just chilling...


This is a popular stare of his. Anytime he is confused about something (like his father sticking a camera in his face) he gets this look.


More of the blank stare!


Tearing his dad's face off...

My New Year's Resolution

So here they are. We all have them, so I am posting mine so other people can keep me accountable...because there is no way I can motivate myself.

1) Be a good father and husband. Sometimes I miss the forest for the trees, and lose sight of why I am here. I am here to be a role model for my kids, and an inspiration and provider for my spouse. That needs to drive me this year (and every year!).

2) Workout at least 3 times a week. Soccer counts as a workout. So does refereeing. I gotta use the treadmill at home more, too. Even though we bought it for Steph, I should be getting on it.

3) Learn to cook. This means without a book in front of me. Too often I wait for Steph to make something, or I make something simple. When I say learn to cook, I mean nice, gourmet meals...from scratch.

4) Create a website for Steph's business. We have had the domain name (www.sassitudes.com) for nearly 2 years now, and still nothing.

5) Make a difference in someone's life. (More on this one in a few days...think non-profit idea)

6) Learn to play a musical instrument. I used to learn the guitar as a kid, and I want to pick that up again. Might be nice for the kids, too, to see music in their home.

7) Restore a car. I have been wanting to do this for a while now, and I just need to get off my ass and do it. Ideally, a 1957 Chevy/Ford Pickup.

8) Put away $20 minimum from every paycheck for Christmas '06. I have to avoid the scramble I encountered this time round. That was crazy!

9) Make a concerted effort to go out with my wife, on a date, with no kids, at least once a month. Doesn't sound like a lot, but trust me, with a new born, it is! We need to make it a whole date night too, not just an hour at a bar or something. Nice meal, maybe a movie too, different town. Proper job!

10) Go back to England. This is self-explanatory. I want to get back with Jack and see everyone again and see how they are all doing. I have to take everyone too...Naomi also. Barring that...Disneyland.