Yes, I'm A Bad American

By: George Carlin (and I couldn't agree more with him!)

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am
George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my
family, not some mid level governmental functionary be
it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way,
damn it!

I think being a minority does not make you noble or
victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to
do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more
enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if
your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy
ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun
to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her
God when and where they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and
whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time
arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all
those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during
these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't
wander forty years In the desert after getting chased
out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been
persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
shut-the-Hell-up already.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the
Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his
money, and why he is always part of the problem and
not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one? (I LOVED this one)

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry
ass if you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over
if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color
you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my
drivers license. I think it's good.....and I'm proud
that "God" is written on my money. I think if you are
too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful
nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections
trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into
making "donations" to their cause. These people should
be targets.

...and my personal favorite...

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a
child, it takes TWO parents.

Way to go George...