Separated at Birth?

A good friend of mine recently pointed out that my cousin Andrew looks like Private Pyle, from the movie Full Metal Jacket.

I couldn't believe it, until I saw the pictures...


Private Pyle


Cousin Andrew

Chilling With the Boy !

Favorite Picture of The Vacation

This is one of my favorite pictures of Steph and Jack together. I think it came out perfectly.

I took this on a random walk in the English countryside a few weeks ago. There were a couple more like it, but I was moving teh camera and they were blurred, but this one came out absolutely perfect.

'No' Means 'No' !!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you a clear violation of workplace practices. This is disgusting. There is clearly and aggressor, and a victim in this whole ugly mess, and it is up to us to take a stand and make sure that 'no' really does mean 'no'.


This is disgraceful. My son is being violated.


Clearly going for 2 knuckles.


Getting a little uncomfortable...but is that a smile on his face?


Wait a second...someone is grabbing my ass


Finally, the boy says 'Enough is Enough!!'and takes a stand


The hussy finally takes off to, no doubt, violate some other poor unsuspecting boy

The English Countryside House

This is mum and Howard's house in England, which they recently bought. It is a lovely country cottage buried deep in Somerset, in the southwest of England. It is a little place from the front, but once you get inside, and especially out the back, the house is enormous.

Mum is really into gardening too, so that is great for them!


The garden is beautiful when the morning dew is around


It has a great little walkway all the way around the garden


The view from the back of the garden looking at the house.


The nice grassy area, and you can just see the pond at the back of the picture.

Best Criminal Lawyer Story Ever!

A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued.. and WON! (Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".

NOW FOR THE BEST PART..

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

Unbelievable!

Nuremberg Rally Stadium

So, as promised, in my previous story I said I would post some pictures I took of the Nuremberg Rally stadium. It was a little weird standing in a place where there obviously hadn't been much change in 70 years. Truth is, I was surprise that the stadium hadn't been bombed during the war or dismantled after it, as this was the main area where all the Nazi stuff originated.


Creepy how this has stayed the same.


The actual stadium was immense.


A side view of the actual pulpit Hitler used to stand on to give his speeches.


This is the view from the pulpit. Obviously the storm troopers and the thousands of SS guards have changed and it is now a parking lot and a sports field. In the back left corner there is a athletic track you can run around.


...and finally the actual floor of the pulpit, where he used to stand

Kind of creepy, but it was surreal being there. It was a symbol of Nazi propaganda during the war, and was something that always interested me.

Dad and Poppy

This was a great one of dad and Poppy, my beautiful niece.

Em and Darren

This was a nice one taken in a field...

Meet the Family!

This time when Steph and I went back to England we got to meet nearly all of my family within a one week period. We took absolutely loads of pictures (literally 1452, to be precise) and so I thought I would share a few of them with you...so without further ado, let me introduce to you, the England Crew...


A good one of Steph and Jack kissing. Unfortunately Naomi's mom wouldn't let he come along on this trip, so she was missing.


Mum really enjoyed spending time with Jack again (she had come over to the States only two weeks prior to our vist over there). She was understandably very upset when we left.


This is my dad. Most of you haven't met him, as he was unable to come over to Steph and my wedding in 2004, but he is alive and well and still enjoying life in Portugal with his partner, Alyxx. Unfortunately she wasn't able to meake it up to England to see us this time.


I know he won't like this picture, but it is the only one I could find of him on his own! This is my step-dad, Howard. Being in the Navy for 30 years allows him to be happily married to my mum. Orders are orders, whoever is giving them!


Even making toast he looks mean! My brother Phil, enjoying a snack.


Just the cutest little girl ever! I met my neice, Poppy, for the first time on this visit. Phil doesn't get to see her as much as he would like, which I can sympathize with, but he is doing really well when he has her.


This is my brother Mark, with his girlfriend, Lou, who is lovely. Mark is is some need of a pair of shears.


This was a really good picture of Max, my youngest brother. He is definately a teenager (15 years old) as we hardly saw him all vacation as he was upstairs playing Xbox the whole time in his room. On a side note, I can't blame him, when i was 15 I was upstairs all the time, too, only I was whacking off.


My sister, Em, and her longtime boyfriend Darren, who really is a class bloke. He is in a band called Kortez, so look for him to be famous. If I can figure out how to do it, I will most one of their songs on my blog.


This is David, my youngest cousin. He now works behind the bar that we were all drinking at.


Aunty Thlema with her second son, my cousin, Andrew. Andrew is an absolute beer monster. The funny thing is that the last time I saw Andrew he was about 12 years old and about 5'1"...obviously, a few pints later, he grew up.


My cousin Ian, on the right, is my uncle Foster's (on the right) son. Foster is married to Thelma. You keeping up okay...?


This is my cousin Claire, with her fiance Peter. Peter is on the right.


The legendary 'Easy E' my uncle, with Jack. Going through some tough times at the moment, but taking it in stride as ever. Also has the largest collection of accidentally downloaded porn on his phone that I have ever seen....no wait...that I have ever 'heard' about.


This is my cousin Matt (Eric 'Easy E''s son), and his girlfriend, Emily. We met them a couple of times down at the pub, and Emily seemed very nice indeed.


Out of 1452 pictures, I managed to find ONE of Faye, my step sister and her husband Blake on their own together. Nightmare. Can't believe I didn't get a better one than that!


This was a cute one. This little man is Riley, my nephew, and quite simply the cutest little 2 year old on the planet...and the most well-mannered one. Also a good one of Faye and Blake.


One of the hardest people to actually get on film, Laura, my step-sister!


This is Anthony, my step-brother


This was Arthur, Anthony's son. He was adorable, and he and Jack got along like a house on fire!

...and finally some random group shots...

My Old School

Proof that it really does exist, and that the name of my old school was something that I didn't make up to get chicks...

We Are Back

We made it back from the UK okay. Good times.
Jack was much better and VERY lively on the plane. Good times.

King Alfred's Tower

This is an old landmark where I used to live...well, it was about 15 miles from where i used to live. Remarkable building, in the middle of nowhere.



The article here explains it as "one of the finest triangular folly towers in the country, designed by the man who gave us Wentworth Woodhouse's Hoober Stand and Fort Belvedere in Windsor Great Park, the first triangular folly tower. Alfred's Tower stands 160 feet high, sheer windowless brick, unashamedly built for the view from the top - the ten tiny stair-turret windows do no more than illuminate the steps. Designed in 1765, it was completed in 1772 on the spot where Alfred the Great in AD 870 On this summit erected his standard against Danish invaders".

Issues in the Relationship

My sister, Em and her boyfriend Darren are the perfect couple. They are great for each other. She is driven, professional, and very, very organized, and he is mellow, chilled out, and totally relaxed. It truely is a great combination and one that I hope lasts forever.

Occasionally however, one of them will snap, and it gets ugly!


Darren clearly taking the piss, unfortuntely for him, caught on camera.

The Smart Car

This is the worlds smallest car. It is only about 5' long. It is designed for big cities so that it can literally park sideways in the parking spaces that are designed for cars to park length ways in!


Unless you're 300lbs...then it ain't so smart!!

Jack Meets Grandpa!

Up until our recent trip to England, no-one except mum had met Jack.

It was great that Dad flew all teh way out from Portugal to meet us for a few days...and this was his first time meeting the young lad, too so that was awesome. Obviously, you can see he is pretty happy!

More News From The UK

The trip is going well. Everyone is just chilling out and we are having a grand old time.
The weather took a turn for the better today, so we might be able to get out on a walk and see a little more of the countryside which will be nice.
I have more pictures to share of family, so I will post them and then get on with watching the football ('soccer') for all the American readers (both of you...Neal and Kenny).

From Left: Phil's daughter, Poppy, Jack's cousin, Arthur, and Jack


Steph driving a right-hand drive car for the first time


Max looking cheerful, as usual


My dad