Explaining Memorial Day to 5 Year Old

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Biker Chick

After showing Naomi the pictures of Grandma on her new Harley, she was inspired to get her own bike.

So we trudged down to G.I. Joes to check out the dirt bikes that they have. This little one was also there for kids ages 5 and up. Are you kidding me? 5 and up? Naomi has a mental breakdown when she falls off her push bike (with training wheels) let alone a 30cc motorbike. The picture was cute though!

Needless to say, she is not getting a bike.


Even the thought of her on this scared me.

Building a Fort

Thought you would get a kick out of this.

Naomi building the world's biggest fort, out of the couch, the trunk, towels and some blankets, in our living room. You can't see her, but Wicket was also forced into the dark cavern, as her protective guard dog.

She also got a lesson in how annoying little brothers can be. It was pretty funny. Jack wanted to be a part of it so badly, but he was, how shall we say, 'not as helpful as Naomi would have liked".

Webcam

Everyone should own one.

This goes with my technology post I just did. This is me and the missus on the old webcam. I am in Indianapolis, and she is in Portland.

These are cool. Everyone should own one. If you don't have one, get one! They are great for being on the road.

Waffle House

Get there, eat there.

The decor is, well, questionable, but the food is world class!

If you have been to the south, and like your grits and hasbrowns scattered, smothered, covered, topped, chunked, diced and peppered, then you need to go to Waffle House.

Technology Amazes Me

I am amazed at technology. Due to the fact that thunderstorms have kept me in Indianapolis tonight (my flight to Chicago was delayed so I would have missed my connection) I was unable to get home.

I called Steph to tell her the news, and she was bummed out, but at least happy I was safe. She took a picture of Jack in her cart, and texted it to me. I received it on my phone, and emailed it to my hotmail account. I then pulled it off the email, and am now posting it on my blog.

Not something I haven't done before, but it just kind of struck me how amazing it was that we are able to do that, 2000 miles apart. My parents, in England, can download it immediately to their computer and email it to their phone, and have it as their phone desktop picture.

All in 10 minutes.


Very cute image being beamed across cyber-space

Puddle Jumpers

The trouble with flying between cities that are pretty close to each other (less than an hour flight) is that you tend to fly on smaller airplanes!

The one I just traveled on from Charlotte, North Carolina, to get to Indianplois, Indiana had only 3 columns of seating. I was in seat 11A and then there was an aisle, and then there was two seats on the other side.

Scary!

I Love Dreamland BBQ

One of the things I miss about the south is the cooking! Man, they know how to cook down here. I say 'here' as that is where I am traveling right now.

I just LOVE the BBQ ribs, and my absolute favorite place in the world for ribs is Dreamland BBQ in Birmingham, Alabama.

You can order their ribs and they will deliver to anywhere in the coutry, they are that damn good. One of my vendors sent me a couple of racks of ribs (freeze-dried) for Christmas last year and they were amazing!!

It isn't much to look at, but it is an awesome place to eat!


Howdy folks, welcome to Dreamland.

Back in the South

I am back in the south again.

After a four year absence, I am back in Birmingham, Alabama. Just visiting a vendor this time, before I head off to Finish Line in Indianapolis.

It is really nice back here, and I actually quite miss it. People here are so friendly. I got in at lunchtime today, and my first meeting isn't until tomorrow morning so I had some time to kill.

I visited some old haunts, where I used to live, the old church I used to go to, and the Hollywood Video store that was the last place I visited as a DM before I hung up those boots. I had dinner at Ruby Tuesday, and am very much looking forward to eating at the Waffle House tomorrow morning.

It was 87 degrees here today. I followed a friend's advice at dinner the other nice, and at the insistence of my wife, too, picked up and started reading the Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown. The movie just came out and I really want to see it, but was convinced by others that the book is better. I picked it up at 6am this morning at the Portland Airport, and couldn't put it down!

I am about 200 pages into it (450+ pages total in the book) and it really a very good read. I will update you on it at another time.

Little JD Goes for a Swim

Jack went swimming for the first time the other day in Eric and Joann's pool around the back of their house.

He was so damn cute looking !









...and before you write in, no, that is not Big Foot. That is my brother-in-law, Eric.

If You Can Read This, this Bitch Fell Off

Wow.

I seriously can't believe it. Jack's grand-parents down in Sacramento bought a bike !!! Not just any bike either...a friggin' Harley!

This screams of mid-life crisis!! It is funny though. In all seriousness, it should be good fun down there. Only one problem Tom, where is the beer holder? At least now she'll have something large between her legs, eh Tom? Part of me thought that was hilarious when i wrote it...and part of me threw up in my mouth.


Grandma loves her hog


Grandma has a new favorite ride...sorry Tom!


Bad to the bone.

Paul McCartney & Wife Split Up

Sir Paul McCartney and his wife Heather are separating, the couple confirmed today.

A statement said the couple had “found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives”.

The couple said they had agreed “with sadness” to “go our separate ways” but insisted the split was amicable.

The couple have been apart for three weeks after a series of rows.

A pal of McCartney, 63, said last night: “Paul hasn’t taken this decision without a lot of thought. He believes it’s the best thing at the moment.

“He hasn’t given up on his marriage — it’s just that they need some space.”

Ex-model Heather, 38, who is an amputee, admitted last week that she is hopping mad. :o)

Credit to Kenny for the joke.

Simon Date: Convicted Felon

That's right people, today, your's truly was in traffic court fending for his life against 'the man' as he tried to put me in chokey for alleged crimes back on March 13th.

Well, I was not going quietly, people! That's right, no damn judge is taking me alive. Driving in the car pool lane? Me? I drive where the hell I want, when the hell I want, and how fast I want. Coppers beware.

No friggin' way I was going to be doing hard time, smashing rocks etc. I will fight the man every step of the way.

Solitary confinement? No problem...just not for me. Fences can't keep me in. No wall can contain me. Guards? Bring 'em on. I'll fight anyone. Don't even think about slipping one in my bum in the showers? I'll tense up and rip your dick off.

Get me Johnny Cochran. What? He's dead? Well, get me someone else. What about that Shaprio guy? Robert, not James. Get me him. He'll do.

Yeah that's right, legal system! You want a fight? You got one!


This is utter crap. A mockery!

Well, I thought I was quite fortunate to get away with $182 reduced fine, and a slap on the wrist. Phew. Sorry judge. It won't happen again.

Oh yes, you look nice in your robe. Sissy.

Where Have all Your Mates Gone?

Surrounded by friends, Saddam remains defiant

Jack in the Tub

Don't Mess With Mario

A good friend of mine, and great practical joker, played a great trick on Greg at the office earlier in the day today.

It was accompanied by this email:

I love post its so much that I decided to decorate my office with them and dance around without my pants.... I love how they feel on my legs when I pull them off...
Come by and check me out...

Absolutely superb. I was there when he did it (just passing through) and it was funny as hell.


Poor old Greg. Another heart attack?


Never underestimate the Mexican

The Evolution of Dance

Hands down the funniest six minutes you will see in a long time!

Coming from a serious white guy, who can't dance to save my life, I remember trying a few of these. How many can you remember?

Click Here to see the sweet moves. Safe for work.

Barry Bonds: Druggie

Living here in the States I, of course, have a friend or two who is into baseball. It is the national pastime here. Seriously. It is an obsession with people. Just ask Kenny.

I have never really understood it. It is cool to play, but people here love watching it, too. I guess it is whatever you grew up with.

One of the landmark achievements here is about to be surpassed by none other than Barry Bonds. He is about to pass 'Babe Ruth' as number 2 on the all-time home run records when he hits number 714. He has to chse the all-time lead now (755) of Hank Aaron.

Bonds' achievements are impressive indeed. There will however always be an asterisk next to his name.

The man is juiced up !!

Bonds, who has denied ever "knowingly" using drugs, is a hulk of a man. He is huge. Now, I know you can get huge by lifting weights, but his transformation from rookie to 16 year veteran is ridiculous.


Couple of protein shakes, anyone?

The man is a colossus. I think he is hurting baseball. The attention surrounding him is ever increasing due to the record books, but it will ALWAYS be tarnished. Sports Illustrated posted this picture on their website today, which I think perfectly sums up the whole thing.


Click to enlarge and read.

I just wish he would admit it.

Pentagon Strike Questions

Okay, this is a little creepy.

I don't want to say hindsight is 20/20 and 'I told you so' but with all the attacks on September 11th, 2001, this was the only one that seemed odd.

Not odd, like something didn't happen, but odd like that just looks so bizarre.

I'll let the website do the talking (it is a flash player clip). It is from England. It takes 3 mins to watch, and you need flash. It is safe for work, too.

Just weird.

Click here to view it.

Are You Giving 100% ?

What makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where some one wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

IF:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

AND,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you CLOSE, and attitude will get you THERE, it’s the BULLSHIT and ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.

Exercise Is Good

I am exercising now. Originally it was out of necessity because, well, how do I put this? I was getting fat!
It is amazing how much my lack of soccer playing has affected my appearance. It's not a big deal, and it isn't like I shot up in weight, but I just felt sluggish! Extra couple of pounds, too, but it was basically a feeling more than a look.
So anyway, I started to run. I figured I would take Wicket, too, and that way she gets in shape, get's out of the house, and i have a running "partner"!
It has only been a couple of weeks now, but I am starting to feel great again! Maybe it is all in my head, but I actually look forward to my running now. Seriously. It is pretty cool because Wicket also knows that when i put on my red running shorts and yellow shoes that she is going for a run, and she goes mental!!
This weekend I think we are going to find a second weight bench, too, so that I can continue to do some weight work too. I don't want to bulk up, but just add that to the routine.
I should also, at this point, give a special shout out to our friends, Kenny and Darla, who started the same thing about a month ago. They also cut out alcohol from their diet, too, which i have copied somewhat. I am not completely removing it, but am cutting it from an 'every night' thing to a once a week type thing. One beer ain't gonna kill me, or make me fat, but two a night (which was what it was) will.
Anyway, thought I would let you know the news. Don't know why, just feel really good about it.

Ah...Did It Hurt? Tough Shit.

I am a big supporter of the death penalty. Huge. Now, thanks to a recent event in Ohio, I know there is going to be debate over whether or not it is humane and whether or not injections should be used.

Well, if it hurt a bit, or even if it hurt a lot, tough shit. You think the person you murdered felt good, or was laughing as you robbed them of $65. I doubt it seriously.

I know the argument goes that innocent people have been put to death, and that sucks. The protesters should therefore concentrate on getting the decision right, not abolishing the punishment. If it isn't proved 110% that they did it, wll then I agree there shouldn't be a death sentance, but if it is certain, then away you go.

What about making it Pay-Per-View? All the proceeds go to the family? I like it. I would buy it once or twice.

I just dont' want to hear that this poor guy was hurt by the needle, or was caused psychological pain while being executed. Forgive and forget, sure, but I don't have any sympathy.

-------------

A double murderer was put to death in Ohio Tuesday but not until after one of his veins collapsed, causing the condemned man to sit up and tell his executioners, "It's not working," officials said.


You're not smiling now, are you!

The Ohio Department of Corrections said Joseph Clark, 57, was pronounced dead at 11:26 a.m. ET following an injection of lethal chemicals at the Southern Ohio Correctional Institution in Lucasville.

Spokeswoman Andrea Dean said the execution was delayed about 90 minutes because technicians had trouble initially finding a site in Clark's arm for the intravenous line carrying the chemicals.

Then shortly after the poisons were supposed to have been pumping into his body, she said, he sat up saying, "It's not working. It's not working."

Officials determined that a vein had collapsed. Curtains were closed to block witnesses' view until technicians found a vein in his other arm. They were then parted to reveal him dying, witnesses said.

Ohio has used lethal injection repeatedly without similar problems, but this method of execution, used in all but one of the 38 states that impose capital punishment, is under legal attack.

The U.S. Supreme Court has a challenge before it from Florida claiming that it causes undue pain, while the matter is also before a court in California.

The method involves three separate drugs: the first renders the victim unconscious, the second stops all muscle movement except the heart and the third stops the heart, causing death.

Clark was given a meal of his request Monday, consisting of shrimp, steak, chicken wings, fries, rolls with butter, cherry pie and a soft drink.

Just before the execution process started the first time Clark made a final statement apologizing to his victims' families and saying "Today my life is being taken because of drugs. If you live by the sword you die by the sword."

On January 13, 1984, Clark shot Marine reservist and father of two David Manning and stole $65 from the gas station where Manning was working.

The murder came during an eight-day crime spree in which Clark also murdered another man, student Donald Harris, and wounded a third man during an attempted robbery.

Harris was filling in for a friend at a convenience store when Clark entered and demanded the contents of the store's safe. Harris said he did not know the safe's combination, and was shot in the back of the head.

Clark later attempted to rob a man at an automated teller machine, the two struggled, and the victim was wounded twice. A witness saw the attack and noted the license plate number on Clark's car.

After he was arrested, Clark tried to hang himself in his jail cell, and confessed to the murders while recovering in a hospital. He was sentenced to death for Manning's murder.

Clark said he robbed to support a drug habit.

"Neither the parole board nor I are persuaded by Mr. Clark's attempt to explain away Mr. Manning's murder," Gov. Robert Taft said in refusing clemency last week.

Taft said Clark's "well established prior criminal conduct, both as a juvenile and as an adult, signifies a propensity for violent behavior."

Clark was the 21st person to be executed in Ohio since the state resumed carrying out the death penalty in 1999, and the 1,021st inmate executed in the United States since capital punishment resumed in 1976.

TR Can't Keep Secrets!

Oh yeah, you know who you are!!!!

I bet you're gonna tell your kids there is no Santa, or Easter Bunny....

You monster.

:o)