Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Radicals

There are many radicals in the world. Changing the world of Child Services is an uphill battle that needs to be fought, but on a chat group that I belong to, there are some real "crazies". Is the world really made up of these types of people?
Below is an excerpt (I removed the names to protect the folks) from a recent posting I read.
I rarely chime in to these things, but on this occasion I did.

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INITIAL PERSON
I talked to my lawyer today on the phone and he asked me did i want to have my wife`s house inspected? I said yes but after i thought about it, wil it do any good or make things worse between us, it is already pretty bad though and is he just trying to get more lawyer fees or is he really trying to do some good for me. Give me some feed back please.
Thanks,
Person #1

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REPLY
If it were me I would use DHR as a last resort.
DHR is as corrupt as family court. Very few situations that DHR is involved in produce a positive result.
They operate off of Hitler's child of the state doctrine or the American "parens patria" which means the state as a parent.
From, Person #2

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Person of "Knowledge"
Oh people PLEASE!!!
I am Person #1 wife- I used to be a child abuse and neglect investigator and was a child support worker at one time as well. I wasn't "corrupt" and I take MAJOR offense to that statement.
What DOES need to happen FIRST is that you need to get YOUR house in order and get all child sagety up to date, etc- and then get DHR to come out to YOUR house and check it's liveability status. Get a mental health "check". IF you truly believe that something is not "right" in the CP's place- then have it checked out... the problem will be if you are doing this out of spite or just trying to make her life difficult to get your way or put her off balance.
DHR (CS and neglect) get ALL kinds of bogus calls from exes that are COMPLETELY unfounded- and they are done to harass and NOT to actually check on the well-being of the child... So you have to understand that the "presumption" on their part CANNOT be abuse... everything must be done to prove it one way or another.
If you are alleging abuse/neglect they should check the house, speak to the child(ren), talk to the school (teacher and counselor), doctors, and sometimes neighbors, et cetera. If you are just wanting the court to specify whether or not her home is fit and "clean" enough... then your >lawyer will need to request the Judge to order an evaluation of BOTH home... and you need to make sure YOURS is perfect. The premise should be that generally children are better off where they are ( as disruption often "injures" child more than status quo) unless it can be proven otherwise.
If this is an initial custody issue as aprt of a divorce- and BOTH parents had EQUAL parts in child's life during marriage- then you do a home check as a matter of form and go from there... and maybe work for joint custody(which courts are doing more and more).
If she is in contempt of court for any current custody orders- then that is what you need to concentrate on at this time.
In short- if you don't really have any "suspicions"- and the problems are only between you and the mother... you will come off looking the "ass" if you have her investigated for bogus reasons or just to make life difficult.
No matter what the case- make SURE you have your house in order as well- as even if you don't have it inspected as part of a judges decision or on your own... if you make her life hell... she will react in kind.
Do it for the "right" reasons and be prepared to be under the microscope yourself.
GOOD LUCK!!
Thanks, Person #3

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CRAZY #4
I take MAJOR offense the these statements:
"the "presumption" on their part CANNOT be abuse..."
"The premise should be that generally children are better off where they are (as disruption often "injures" child more than status quo) unless it can be proven otherwise."
"If... BOTH parents had EQUAL parts in child's life during marriage- then you do a home check as a matter of form and go from there... and maybe work for joint custody( which courts are doing more and more). If >he is in contempt of court for any current custody orders- then that is >what you need to concentrate on at this time."
"DHR (CS and neglect) get ALL kinds of bogus calls from exes that are COMPLETELY unfounded- and they are done to harass and NOT to actually check on the well-being of the child."
Thanks, Crazy #4

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MY REPLY TO THIS
I didn't find any offence with any of it...for the record.It seemed like solid advice from an insider who knows how it works. Getting your own house in order should be the damn priority.
I went through it. I had to go through all the evaluations and do all the damn inconvenient checks etc....and you know what....if that is what it takes to get my child then FINE. I am not hiding anything. I actuality it came back better for me that I did, because I was being accused of all sorts of things.I think the courts, and teh family court rules suck ass as much as the next person, but in this case the courts did their job....THEY PROTECTED MY CHILD.
They have no way of knowing if the abuse allegations are real or not. It was ordered that I undergo the tests, and my ex had to also. There job is to protect children. They go about it wrong in many ways in my opinion, but not with this...no way.
If you are not fit to be a parent, you shouldn't have your child.....and you should be man enough to stand up and say so. Faking abuse or neglect, or whatever you want to call it, just to get an evaluation done can backfire drastically. Trust me, I was on the receiving end, and it did backfire on my spouse.
Also, making these claims, which turn out to be BS, only clog up the courts, frustrating them, and then creates a negative vibe about that method of custody disputes.The only advice I read from Mr. Young was to get your own house in order before you start pointing fingers. This isn't about making it more inconvenient for your ex....it is about doing what's right for your child.
HUGE difference. Remember that.
Thanks, Simon

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I mean really.....are there really people out there who believe this???

1 comment:

Nealobus said...

I used to think children were the future, but now I believe they are portals to the future. If you fuck around with that portal enough, you never know where you'll be when you arive naked, shivering and alone 20 years from now.

I've been drinking...