Meltdown!

Whoa. I got blindsided last night. Seriously.
As you know, Steph, Jo, the girls, and the little man are all down in Sac-town for a few days.
I am up here all alone and just chilling. It's sad really because I actually enjoy just spending time on my own and watching TV and stuff. I used to do that a lot when I was 'single' and I just like to get a good movie in and watch it. What can I say, I am a home-body.
Anyway, so Autumn comes home and asks me if I want to go to the bar for a drink. I think to myself, "well, heck, why not?" I have been on the couch most of the day, so I thought I would just go and have a couple of beers.
So off to O'Briens we go for a couple of bevvies. Very nice, low key and just chilled.
Steph called and was not happy about it. Not because I was out or anything, but just because I was doing things and no-one takes her out at all. She said that she feels like she is losing her identity and is basically tied to Jack and it is frustrating. Again, I have to stress that she wasn't mad at ME, but just at the whole situation.
So, we got into a big fight on the phone (mostly my fault) and she said that she is feeling very down at the moment.
I believe this is a small example of what they call post-partum depsression. Not that she is a nut-case by any means, but just that she is going through what most moms go through at around this time. I tried to tell her that it was normal, but she just feels weird. She feels like a loser. At home all day, no money, no visitors, can't go anywhere significant because of the baby, and the moment I am alone I go out on the town. Not good. I guess I could have used better judgement.
She apologized this morning and said she felt awful about it, but I am the one who feels terrible that she feels like that.
I know she didn't intend for me to feel bad, but in a way, I was glad that i did feel bad. I think it will help me to understand witha little more clarity, what she is going through. I have a job and am the bread-winner int he family now, which has many advantages, but two significant DISadvantages, too. First, I get to go out of the house every day and interact with other adults. She doesn't. Second, she is, for the first time, not contributing financially to the family. I have told her all the time that she contributes so much in other ways, but I guess, looking at it from her point of view, it must be weird feeling like you are not helping, especially when there are a few finanical worries. Like I said, I am glad ina way that I had the conversation, as it gives me a little more insight into where she is coming from and how I can help.
I want her to know how much she means to me and that there isn't a day in my life that goes by that I am not more in love with her than I was the day before.
So, anyway, I was just really caught off guard. I know a couple of other people that have experienced this sort of thing and I knw it is "normal", it is just hard to deal with, and even harder trying to convince the person that there is nothing wrong and that it is really just her imagination.
Tough day though. Really tough